The Connection between Self Love and Keto

I have an hour commute to and from work, so I tend to listen to podcasts for entertainment.  One that I listen to a lot is “Unf*ck Your Brain.”  I suffer from anxiety, so this is a podcast that helps me with my mental health.  The other day, the host, Kara Loewentheil was talking to a diet coach.  Kara believes positive mental health is about self-acceptance and you need to change your thoughts for positive self-esteem –  not your body.  As a proud feminist, this made me think about how I reconcile my feelings about promoting keto and society’s interference with women’s bodies.  So today I’m thinking about the connection between self love and keto.

What is Self Love?

Keto can help with weight loss, but that’s a very different thing from self love.  Self love is an appreciation and acceptance of yourself the way you are.  You believe you are beautiful, smart, and enough in all aspects just the way you are.  It’s about believing that you deserve happiness in your life.  In my experience, it is a goal that we strive for – few actually get there.  But, does me promoting a keto lifestyle help women to reach that goal, or does it harm them?  

My Own Experience

I connect strongly to my work, and I always have.  Over the years, I experienced managers who told me I was not good enough – and I believed them.  It would cause me weeks, even years of throwing myself into my work and beating myself up if I made a mistake.  Spoiler alert – I’m human, so I do make mistakes.  

In the more recent past, I had a manager tell me I wasn’t doing my job.  I wasn’t managing the way they thought I should.  Now, I was almost 50 years old at this point, so I’ve learned a few things along the way.  So, I cried – like I do.  And then, I sat down and really thought about my values and my experiences.

I followed the advice of Kara Loewentheil and I wrote down my first thoughts.  These included things like I’m a failure, I suck at my job, and I should just quit.  Then, I thought about alternate thoughts that I could believe.  This included things like my style of leadership is different, but it isn’t wrong.  Finally, I looked for evidence for this alternative thought.  

I quickly realized I have over 20 years of leadership experience and I have enjoyed a good amount of success over those years.  I thought about how I wanted to lead, and what my values are that coincide with how I lead.  The result was I no longer felt like a failure, but realized my worth and had a good conversation with my manager in a calm and positive way.  This was self love.

Self Love and Body Image

As a woman, I have heard throughout my life by men, by women, and by society that I am not enough.  I have too many curves, and my stomach is too big.  My thighs touch and under my arms is flabby.  With keto, I lost 65 pounds, and that was great.  It helped my confidence because I felt better in clothing.  But without clothing, I still struggle.  Let me be clear – Bill tells me every day I am beautiful.  It’s actually not about what others say about me, it’s about what I say to myself.

Self love is about accepting yourself for who you are and how you look- whether you weigh 120 pounds or 400 pounds.  Could you be healthier if you were a different weight?  Maybe.  But know that you will always have a body part you aren’t happy with.  Self-love is accepting that part of your body.

How To Love Your Body

The podcast on self love really struck me.  You need to believe the thoughts you have about your body, and you’ve been telling yourself for as long as you can remember that it doesn’t measure up.  So, you have to start with something you can believe.  I’ve started with “that’s my stomach.”  It’s true and I can believe it.  Then, I went to “that’s a normal stomach for a 50 year old woman.”  It’s also something I can believe.  Now, I’ve started saying, “that stomach is the result of bringing our daughter into this world.”  Well, that’s something I believe and it makes me love and accept it a little more.

I’m not at the point of self love with my body yet.  It’s a work in progress, and I may never completely get there.  But, it’s better than it was.  And, I’m working on it from a very different mindset.  I’m not going from “I hate my stomach” to “I love my stomach.”  That’s not realistic.  

Final Thoughts about Self Love and Keto

So, am I harming women by promoting the benefits I have found with keto?  I don’t think so.  I’m not saying you have to do keto to be healthy and love yourself.  In fact, I think I’ve been pretty honest about the fact that keto did not cure all my self doubt and negative body image issues.  I’m just giving information to people from my own experiences.  But, this did make me think a lot about not putting more expectations on women, and it’s something I’ll carry forward in my work.  

Wendy