Self esteem is how you see yourself – positively or negatively. If you have a high self esteem, you like yourself. This includes how you feel about yourself physically and mentally / emotionally. Can it be taught? Is it a rational and practical trait, or is it based in emotion? Does keto help with your self esteem?
My Own Experiences with Self Esteem
Practically speaking, I know a lot about self esteem. I’ve taught it, facilitated workshops about it, and written research papers about it. This means I know how it’s supposed to work and I know I should have it. I know I’m not hideous. My husband loves me and tells me every day that I’m beautiful and the smartest person he knows. All evidence shows I should have a high self esteem and a high level of confidence, but reality is something different.
Emotionally speaking, I struggle. Everything that makes me uniquely me makes me self-conscious. I have naturally curly hair. People in school used to call me poodle, making my self esteem take a nosedive. It’s only been the last couple of years that I have embraced it and kept it curly. I have a mole on each of my ears. They are matching and quite distinctive. One guy asked me if I should have them tested for cancer, and since then, I’ve covered them with my (curly) hair.
The Emotional Side of Self Esteem
We all have experiences that chip away at our self esteem. Ex-partners (at least they should be exes), friends that make snide comments, high school bullies, and work bullies all take their toll. Everyone has had times when their perception of themselves takes a hit. You remember the times in school when someone was mean to you by attacking your appearance. You don’t remember the compliments, just the criticisms.
Think it’s just you? It’s not. We see it all the time with celebrities. The people in the public eye are the center of attention and people are overly critical of their appearances. Celebrities try to brush these comments off, but then you see them with a little extra make up, clothing that holds everything in (even the non-existent rolls), and even plastic surgery. It’s not just women, it’s men too. We never feel we are good enough.
Self-Esteem and Keto
In the back of my mind, I always figured if I lost weight, I’d have higher self esteem. That seems rational. I was self-conscious about my weight, so when I started losing weight on keto, I assumed that my self esteem would rise. But, I wasn’t taking into account the emotional side of things.
When I look at it rationally, I lost 65 pounds. I was down to my pre-pregnancy weight from 20 years ago! But emotionally, I still don’t see it or feel it. I still try on extra large clothing, because I don’t think the medium or large will fit. Sometimes, I’ll look at a plus sized outfit and think it would probably do, but when I try it on, I swim in it. I still see myself as the largest woman in the room, and I hesitate to sit on a small chair in case it breaks. So, where is my self esteem change?
A Final Thought
I think that improving your self esteem has more to do with maturity than weight. It isn’t just about learning to think better of yourself; it’s learning to think less of what others say about you. Years of hateful comments don’t just disappear overnight because you lose some weight on keto. They disappear as you start learning not to care as deeply.
As I age, I care less and less about what others think. Maybe that’s the key to a high self esteem – not caring about the opinions of others! Maybe I’m starting to feel more comfortable in my own skin. I certainly feel more comfortable with being who I am. There may actually be an advantage to growing older and leaning away from the emotional and more towards the practical side of me.
Wendy
