Losing weight and becoming a medium from an 2XL in clothing has been an amazing journey for me. It’s something I still don’t realize day-to-day. But the other day, some of us girls were trying on shirts and a friend of mine said, “If Wendy takes a medium, I’ll need a large.” They didn’t say it in a snarky way, or a negative way – they said it as a matter of fact. They see the changes after keto.
My first reaction was, wait, am I really smaller than someone? I was in total and complete denial. There was no way that my friend, whom I have always thought of as someone who is in good shape and health, was larger than I was. Well, we tried on the shirts, and they were right. I was a medium, and they took a size large. Whoa!
Seeing the changes after keto
I have written before that I don’t see that big of a difference in myself. Even though I have lost about 65 pounds since I started keto, I truly don’t see that big of a change – until I see the old photos of myself compared to the newer photos. Or until I try on clothes that fit me a few years ago and now they are way too big for me.
I still think of myself as that larger woman, because that’s who I was for so long. So, hearing someone I have always thought of as being smaller than me say they needed a bigger size than I did was a shocker. It was even more of a shocker when they were right.
I’m not bragging…
This puts me in a bit of a tough spot. I have been self-deprecating for so long in regards to my body. My theory was always that if I said horrible things about myself, others wouldn’t feel the need to add their comments. So, it’s hard to change that habit.
But the one thing I hated more than people commenting on my weight was the people commenting that they were “so fat” or “so big” when they obviously were not. I have to be careful not to make those comments. I would never say them to make someone feel badly about themselves, but I might make them out of habit.
Why Can’t I see the changes after keto?
For years, I have seen myself as large. I have heard the comments about eating another donut. I have seen the looks as I ate a chocolate bar. In fact, I started hiding when I was eating junk food. I did that only in the privacy of my own house. People who have struggled with their weight often also struggle with their self-perception and self-esteem.
I had a dream that I was with my ex-partner. He was surprised by how emotionally strong I was and how I looked. And I realized during that dream (and thankfully when I woke up) that I AM emotionally strong. I am happy with who I am and how I look. I have a new confidence I didn’t have before. And that is in part due to keto.
It is amazing to feel that you can accomplish what you set your mind to doing. I have changed the way I eat, but more importantly, I have control over what I eat and when I eat. Now I have energy to do the things I want to do. I can walk quickly down a hall and not get out of breath. I can go up a flight of stairs and keep going.
I’m still doing a double-take when I look in the mirror or see a picture I’ve just taken of myself. Is that me? Am I really smaller than some of my friends? I’m working on my self-esteem and confidence every day. I’m working on my emotional health and becoming happy with who I am. It’s a work in progress, but it gets better the more I realize that yes, I am seeing positive changes since I started keto.
Wendy
