I am a perfectionist in many things, and keto is no exception. Now, some people think perfectionism is a good thing. Spoiler alert, it isn’t. I’ve been listening to the podcast Unf*ck Your Brain and the host, Kara Loewentheil, talked about what being a perfectionist really means. It doesn’t mean that you’re perfect. In fact, it means that you never reach the level you think you should. I realized suddenly last month that I was struggling with keto perfection.
The Background on My Keto Perfection
So, we went to the Wharf Rat Rally on Labour Day weekend. It’s a motorcycle rally that hosts thousands of people and motorcycles. Some people have the Superbowl, we have Wharf Rat. The weather was beautiful, and we enjoyed good friends, lots of laughs, and more than a few low-carb beers.
I really needed this mini-vacation. Things were hectic at work, I’d felt under the weather, and the house looked like a hurricane came inside! The more I tried to get ahead, the more out of control I felt. And then there was my keto track. My keto diet included too many sugar alcohols and pre-packaged foods. I was not living up to where I should be.
My Realization
So, I was getting dressed in our hotel room that Saturday morning to go for a ride. I happened to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and my first thought was, “Hey, my bum looks cute in these jeans.” My second thought was, “I have never in my 50 years had that thought!” And then I started to rant in my head. When are we okay with who we are and how we are doing? How do we fight perfectionism? When are we good enough?
I have gained back some of the weight I originally lost on keto. I know that’s normal as your body adjusts, but it’s been driving my perfectionist mind crazy. I’ve been obsessing about it and thinking that I’m going to end up back where I was before I started keto. I’m thinking about how this blog is a farce – who am I to preach about keto when I can’t even do it myself. The thing is, I am doing keto. I’m just not perfect.
Fighting Keto Perfection
Ideally, I would eat perfectly every day with strict keto. I would track all my food and hit all my macro targets. Sugar alcohols would only be in the one fat bomb I had in the evenings. We would cook dinner every night and go out for supper maybe once a month. That’s what I did when we first started out, and that’s what my brain says I should do now.
But, that’s not real life. People who try to do that long term end up giving up keto because it’s hard. You have to learn to be okay with a few shortcuts, and as you become fat adapted, the shortcuts aren’t as big a deal. I’ve been doing keto now for 3 years so my body is where it wants to be. Could I lose another 15 pounds? Sure I could, but I would be miserable. You have to weigh the costs and the benefits.
Hey Keto Perfection – I Am Enough
I did a blog on self-esteem and outlined the struggles I had over the years with it. I still struggle. My perfectionist brain is always telling me I’m not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough. I’m slowly learning how to recognize those thoughts and challenge them. That’s evident by the surprising thought I had about my bum looking cute in those jeans. Bill took a picture of me recently at a beach, and I was able to see it for who I am – a healthy, attractive (I’m not ready to say beautiful yet) woman who is at her peak of life at the age of 50.
A Final Thought
I have to figure out this whole weight loss vs. love yourself as you are thing. I believe 100% that I am happier and healthier now than before I started keto. But, I also 100% believe that self-love has nothing to do with what you look like. I hope you’ll stay with me as I figure this out. Maybe that will be my next blog series.
All I do know is that I’m doing keto. It’s not perfect, but it’s right for me and it makes me feel good. I have not gained back all the weight I lost, my body has just adjusted to where it wants to be. I just need to control my thoughts and realize that there is no keto perfection – there’s just doing the best you can and that’s okay.
Wendy
