I have an hour commute to and from work, so I tend to listen to podcasts for entertainment. One that I listen to a lot is “Unf*ck Your Brain.” The host, Kara Loewentheil was talking to a diet coach. Kara believes positive body image is about self-acceptance and you need to change your thoughts for positive self-esteem – not your body. As a proud feminist, this made me think about how I reconcile my feelings about promoting keto and society’s interference with women’s bodies. So today I’m thinking about the connection between my relationship with food and my encouragement of women trying keto.
My Relationship with Food Before Keto
As I’ve talked about in this blog, before I went to keto, my relationship with food was dysfunctional at best. If I had a bad day at work, I would go home and order a pizza. Maybe we’d get some chips and dip to munch on in the evening. That’s how I coped. If something good happened, we’d celebrate by going to a Chinese food buffet and gorge ourselves (I mean, you have to get your money’s worth, right?). We filled up on sugary sauces and empty carbs like white rice. Then, because you are hungry a couple of hours later, we’d eat cake or chocolate bars and candy.
I knew my eating habits were not healthy, and I tried to make changes, but food just had all the control over me. I’d go into work and think I wasn’t eating any sweets that day. Next thing I knew, I had popped a piece of chocolate in my mouth that was in the staff room without even thinking about it. I ate without thinking and I wanted sweet, sweet, and more sweet stuff.
The Transition
When Bill got his diagnosis, he knew he had to go keto full force and I knew I wouldn’t let him do it alone. I actually went through a grieving process for food. We had one last run with our favourite pizza place and I wanted to cry when I ate it. Yet, there was part of me that assumed we would just go back to our old ways like we always did. But, we didn’t.
I did have one day when I went off plan on purpose. Our daughter and I went shopping for a day, and I ate all the “good” food. French fries, ice cream, and pizza. I felt miserable afterwards, and I never wanted to do it again. And, you know what? I didn’t even really enjoy it! After not eating sugar for about 6 months, everything just tasted really, sickeningly sweet. At that point, I knew I was on a healthier path in my relationship with food.
What Makes a Good Relationship with Food?
According to the experts, a good relationship with food means you don’t have guilt when you eat and you eat mindfully. That means you are mindful about what you put into your body. It’s not just a habit. They say there are no “good” foods and “bad” foods. I see where they are going with this. Dieticians feel if you restrict yourself from a certain food, you will crave it and return to eating it. We all need to eat – you should not feel guilt about it.
My perspective is a little different. With keto, there are certain foods you cannot eat if you want to stay in ketosis. High carb foods, like potatoes, rice, and sugar, just don’t fit into the plan. This is one of the main criticisms of keto. Experts feel if you want a piece of cake, you should eat a piece of cake.
If you have a good relationship with food, this should absolutely be true. But, for me, sugar is not an option because of the dysfunctional relationship I had with it in the past. I have struggled for years with cravings, and there is no way I want to go back. It’s not the same for everyone. For many, they can go off-plan for a day and hop right back on. I know that I would slide quickly back into stuffing everything into my body I’ve worked so hard to eliminate from my diet.
My Relationship with Food Now
My relationship with food is still far from perfect. When I get stressed, I go to the sugar alcohols. I buy a Lily’s chocolate bar, or something from one of the bakeries in the area who make keto-friendly snacks. I go out for dinner too much and I’m sure I take in too much of what I don’t want in my body. And, I still feel guilty about it. This is what I am working on now.
I love food. It’s taste, it’s texture, and how it makes me feel when I eat something really enjoyable. But, since eliminating some foods from my diet, I have learned to enjoy other flavours than sweetness. The other night, Bill made spaghetti with konjac noodles. He flavoured the sauce with curry. It was really good! Before, I just wanted the sweetness of the tomato and we’d add a little sugar on top of that. Now, I can enjoy all the different flavours and how they work together.
When it comes to my relationship with food, it’s getting better, but for now, I’d have to put our status as, “it’s complicated.”
Wendy
