Learn Self-Acceptance with Keto

Before I started keto, I knew I needed to make a change. I wasn’t dumb and I could see in a mirror. I hated how I looked and how I felt. Overall, I hated myself for what I considered to be a lack of willpower. But, here’s the thing – it wasn’t losing the weight or having great blood work that made me change my perspective of myself. It was when I realized I needed to learn self-acceptance. I learned that you need to love yourself first, and then you can work on the changes you want to make.

What is Self Acceptance?

Psych Central has an article on the importance of self-acceptance. Although self-esteem is a part of it, self-acceptance is different. It means embracing all your strengths and weaknesses. It’s saying, “Here I am, take me or leave me.” If you like me, great. If you don’t, that’s okay too. It sounds easy, but it’s anything but.

What does self-acceptance have to do with keto? Everything. If you think you aren’t worth the effort to make the changes needed to do keto, you will fail. I tried numerous fad diets, I tried going to nutritionists, I even tried fasting. Every time I went back to eating junk, I beat myself up for it, and I’d feel like a failure. The key piece I was missing was self-acceptance. You have to be in a place of loving yourself before you can make real change.

Learn Self-Acceptance Internally

The first step in self-acceptance is self-forgiveness. Look, we’ve all done things we aren’t proud of. I can think of numerous things I haven’t been proud of this week! Self-forgiveness doesn’t mean that you accept the behaviour as okay. It means that you accept what you did, take responsibility, and move on. Moving on can be difficult. I still have moments when I can’t sleep and I think of something I did that hurt someone 20 years ago. We’re human, we make mistakes. Learn from them and keep going.

The next step is self-compassion. I have so many moments when I feel I’m not enough. I’m not a good enough mom, wife, daughter, support worker, writer…shall I go on? Is that how you would talk to a friend? Jeez, you said that? You suck. No – at least not if you’re a good friend. You’d put the situation into perspective and reassure them that you are enough. When I saw my reflection in the mirror, it wasn’t just about the fat I saw. It was about my failures as a woman. That’s pretty intense, and until I learned self-acceptance, it was never going to change.

Then there is the inner critic. That little demon is persistent, and always has just enough truth in what he says to you to make you doubt yourself. Yes, my inner critic is a male. Yours can be whatever you want. Sometimes it’s helpful if you name him. If your thoughts lead you to a place of motivation and change, that’s great. If the inner critic just makes you put yourself down, ignore him and know that you are better than that!

Learn Self-Acceptance from Others

Talk to people whom you love and who love you for who you are. If you’re struggling, tell them and nine times out of ten, they will tell you all the wonderful things about you. With weight issues, this can be tricky. Some people say they worry about your weight because it affects your health and you need to diet for your own good. Leave these people behind you. You are beautiful just as you are. Are there better choices? Sure. I’ve lost 65 pounds and I still could make better choices. So could they – I guarantee it.

Celebrating The Good and Leaving the Bad

Celebrate your strengths. I sometimes get down on myself at work. To counteract that, I started writing down good things that happen at work. If someone gives me a card, or tells me I helped them with something, I write it on a slip of paper and put it in a container. When I’m feeling really down, I open up that container and see all the wonderful things I’ve accomplished there.

It can be hard to move on from unfulfilled dreams, and it can bring us down and make us feel like failures. When I was growing up, I wanted to be a teacher. I graduated from university and applied for the Bachelor of Education, but I didn’t get in. Well, this was devastating to me and it haunted me for a long time. I had to grieve the loss of that dream and move on to a new goal. It takes time, but it’s an important part of who I am now.

A Final Thought about How to Learn Self-Acceptance

The article points out that self-acceptance isn’t settling. Keep working to better yourself. But in the meantime, love who you are and how you came to be. Maybe it’s because I’m now 50 but I’m at a place where I know who I am and I’m okay with it. I have anxiety, I take time to process emotions, and I am committed to keto because it makes me feel healthy. Certainly, I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s okay. Maybe they aren’t mine either.

Wendy